Microsoft struck by DOS attack, chief suspect identified as God.
Redmond (Feb 28, 2001, 2:40 pm EST)

Microsoft (MSFT) reported today that their facility in Redmond, Washington was struck by a large DOS attack, in the form of a 6.4 magnitude earthquake. The company reported minimal damage, but has contacted the FBI.

Early investigative suspicion has focused on a shadowy character named GOD, who has been allegedly involved with such hacking attacks as the 3024 BC destruction of Sodom and several plagues within the Nile Delta.

GOD's spokesman, Gabriel, has denied responsibility but notes that "Microsoft could use a good Smiting (tm)"