10. Plans to display the company's crushed hull as a war trophy in the Romulan capital city.

9. NT machine on his desk keeps crashing - needs a Mac to run Eudora.

8. Decided the public is too stupid to have the "low level" power of a floppy eject button.

7. The world is running out of things he doesn't own.

6. Wanted to see what it's like to have software that is tested and debugged.

5. Gotta keep the competition in the black to keep "those FTC bastards" off his back.

4. Now that he owns Apple stock he is "just like my hero," Forrest Gump.

3. Felt owning a colorful rainbow logo would ease the shock of his upcoming coming out of the closet.

2. Sickeningly cute Earth Day celebration leaves him hating recycling bin, yearning for trash can.

1. Needed to stuff birthday cards, thought stock certificates would make great gag gifts.