10. Like television, but without that pesky reliability.

9. Ease of use from the people who brought you DOS and the 286.

8. Works better on tough headaches than Larry Ellison's NC.

7. Proud to be your node.

6. Intel (and not much else) inside.

5. In cyberspace, no one can hear you scream.

4. NetPC: computing for dummies.

3. Microsoft NetPC: because we can.

2. Be afraid. Be very afraid.

And the #1 slogan ...

1. Have you had your crash today?