My wife is on a new diet. Coconuts and bananas.
She hasn't lost weight, but boy can she climb a tree!

She was at the beauty shop for two hours.
That was only for the estimate.

She got a mud pack and looked great for two days.
Then the mud fell off.

We always hold hands.
If I let go, she shops.

My wife has a black belt in shopping.

My wife will buy anything marked down.
Last year she bought an escalator.

All my wife does is shop.
Once she was sick for a week, and three stores went under.

When I married my wife, she told me I was one in a million.
Only after learning of her past did I realize what she meant.

Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are beautiful.