She's been on her knees more times than Billy Graham.

She's been laid on more kitchen floors than linoleum.

She's done more screwing than Black and Decker.

She's responsible for more merry men than Robin Hood.

She's turned more tricks than Houdini has.

She's been in more motel rooms than the Bible.

She's been boarded more times than Amtrak.

She's been mounted more often than Trigger.

She's been involved with more animals than Marlin Perkins has.

She's entertained more troops than Bob Hope.

She's been at more bedsides than Dr. Kildare has.

She's been turned more ways than Rubik's Cube.

She's spent more time under men than barstools.

She's seen more traffic than the George Washington Bridge.

She's had more turnovers than the International House of Pancakes.

She's been under more sheets than the Ku Klux Klan.

She's had more marines land on her bed than on Iwo Jima.

Hoover classifies her tongue as a vacuum cleaner.

Her body has been declared a national recreation area.

Her diaphragms come with a service contract.

Her underwear is by Rubbermaid.

Her pantyhose has a pet door.