A flat bloke goes into his doctors, complaining that he needed to lose weight. ''I'm at the end of my tether doctor, is there anything you can suggest I do?'' So the doctor examines him and after some prodding and tutting finally suggests that he should spend six months in hospital, with his jaws wired shut. ''Well, OK doctor, it sounds drastic, but I guess that's what I need.''

Anyway, six months go by and the bloke comes out of hospital, as thin as a rake. He goes round to the doctor's to thank him.

''There's only one problem doctor, you see I was so fat beforehand, that my skin has stretched and stayed that long. Is there anything you can give me?''

''Hmm, short of pretty comprehensive plastic surgery, there is only one alternative. Take your clothes off a moment.'' So the bloke strips down and the doctor goes to him and grabs the layers of skin around his middle. Then, squeezing it all upwards, he ties it in a ball above his head.

''That's all well and good doctor'', the bloke said, ''but my navel is now in the middle of my forehead.''

The doctor replies, ''Yes, but you should see what you have got for a collar and tie!''