A well-known proverb states that an optimistic would say
a glass is half full, while a pessimist would say it is half
empty. What would people of different professions and
walks of life say?

The BANKER would say that the glass has just under
50% of its net worth in liquid assets.

The GOVERNMENT would say that the glass is fuller
than if the opposition party were in power.

The OPPOSITION would say that it is irrelevant because
the present administration has changed the way such
volume statistics are collected.

The ECONOMIST would say that, in real terms, the glass
is 25% fuller than at the same time last year.

The PHILOSOPHER would say that, if the glass was in
the forest and no one was there to see it, would it be half
anything?

The PSYCHIATRIST would ask, "What did your mother
say about the glass?"

The PHYSICIST would say that the volume of this cylinder
is divided into two equal parts; one a colorless, odorless
liquid, the other a colorless, odorless gas. Thus the
cylinder is neither full nor empty. Rather, each half of the
cylinder is full, one with a gas, one with a liquid.

The SEASONED DRINKER would say that the glass
doesn't have enough ice in it.